Have you ever just laid in bed and cried? Not for any particular reason, but at the same time for every reason? For not being good enough for society anymore, and everyone picking at your flaws. It seems like every time we finally become comfortable with ourselves, society comes up with a new perfect. You’re getting torn up inside, but your body can’t find a way to cry for help. Almost as if you’re trapped in a box all by yourself and all you can hear is the bad things people have to say about you. All your “friends” turning around and stabbing you in the back. Then, there comes this point where your scared to show your face anymore. Scared someone will have something to say whether you do something good or bad. It seems like your family is so dysfunctional and they just don’t seem to understand you. They live with you and say they get it, but when you try to explain it they don’t get it at all. You bottle everything up, and suddenly one day something happens and all that bottled up emotion comes poring out. Yeah, you’re smiling on the outside, but that happy girl really goes home just to cry her broken heart out.
We don’t talk anymore. I want to run up to him and shake him and ask if “us” meant anything to him. But, I know it didn’t. I want to pause time to go back and relive every single second we had together. I remember everything like it was yesterday. You’re warm hug when I was sad, your soft kiss when it was time to go. It sucks because I know I’ll never feel those things again. And I know I don’t exist to you anymore. I’m a speck of a dirt on your road in the past. Life really came alive during my time with you. Life finally made sense, and when I was finally happy life took you away. Life’s not fair. Those little butterflies that came to life in my stomach when you came around. No one else gives me that. And the sad thing is, that didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me. I was your test run at love and I failed. I failed by you, but I really tried so hard to be what you needed. At the end of the day I wasn’t and you left. I hear you’ve been talking about me pretty meanly. And that hurts because I’d never do that to you. You will always mean the world to me no matter how much you hurt me. And when I see you with her, I wonder if she gets those same feelings I used to get. It hurts. I can guarantee, she can never love you like I do. Who’s ever reading this, I know someone came to mind the first line you read. It’s okay to not be over someone who made you happy for so long. You tried hard and you have my permission to be sad. It sucks. But don’t let it ruin you forever. It may not seem like it now, but someone out there was made for you. They’re walking this earth right now trying to find you. They want you as badly as you want them. So, keep your head up beautiful. It’s stormy now, but the sun always comes back out. I love you.
Life is never fair to us. When we seem to be content with ourselves, and realize things aren’t so bad, life has a way of taking it away. Yeah, it hurts. You have permission to be sad sometimes. I’m not going to sit here and tell you someone has it worse. Although it’s rough now, I promise you it will not be so bad later. We were all made for a purpose, not to fail. The things you say to people, they remember. How would you like it if someone said something to you that made you feel insecure? You would be crushed. Have fun. Don’t waste your time on people who put you down. If you don’t like someone, that is fine. Don’t talk to them. Life can suck sometimes, but the only thing that can make you mad or sad, is yourself. And if you’re having a bad day, don’t make it someone else’s, too. You’re young, have fun. Be crazy, fall in and out of love. Sneak in to somewhere you shouldn’t be. You’re only young for a certain amount of time then you’re stuck being an adult. Don’t waste. Keep your head up, and have fun. You’re beautiful, I love you.
Love hurts. We put in so much effort, and what do we get back? A broken heart. It feels like everything we do just gets thrown away. Guys call girls “crazy”. Yeah, we are crazy, crazy for you. We would do anything to see a smile on your face. So guys, I suggest you grow up and open up your eyes to see how lucky you are to have a girl that cares about you. If you don’t realize it now, you will realize it when she’s gone.